2-4-1/Script
exits a changing room in a pretty pink dress. Out of the changing room beside her comes Jen, wearing a green sweatshirt with a pink poodle on it. Caitlin: "Ta-da!" Jen's sweatshirt "Ew." Jen: "I was cold! Besides, it looked better on the hanger." Caitlin: "Hangers can be so cruel." cute guy exits another changing room. "Ooh." and Caitlin gape at the vision of hotness that has manifested itself before them. Vince: "Does this jacket look alright?" Jen: "Eh buzh–" closes Jen's mouth. Caitlin: "She means you look sensational." Vince: "You too. I'm Vince." bats her eyelashes. Vince gapes and struggles to pull himself back together. Vince: "Meet me for coffee in an hour?" Caitlin: "Can't wait!" leaves. Out of the next changing room stall walks another boy. This one has a scarf fluttering in the wind. Blake: a British accent "Uh, does this scarf clash with my jumper?" Jen: drooling "Uhhh..." Caitlin: "She means the scarf is perfect." Blake: "Funny. Perfect is the word I'd use to describe you. I'm Blake." again, Caitlin bats her eyelashes. Like Vince before him, Blake struggles to maintain control. Blake: "Can I thank you with a bit of nosh? Say, the fountain at noon?" Caitlin: "I'm so there!" leaves. Jen looks down at her sweatshirt. Jen: "Ugh! Stupid poodle sweatshirt!" ---- The opening credits roll. The title of this episode is '''2-4-1' ---- ''gang are gathered around their usual table. Caitlin: "...and then Blake asked me out too! Oh, this is like the best shopping day ever!" Nikki: Jen "And where were you while Caitlin was being asked out by every boy in sight?" Jen: "Sometimes I get a little flustered around guys." Caitlin: "It didn't help that you were wearing that hideous sweatshirt. And drooling." Nikki: "You fluttered your eyelashes, didn't you?" Caitlin: "Define flutter." Jonesy: "C'mon. There's no way some stupid eyelash flutter can make a girl irresistible. You're either hot, or you're not." Jen: sighing "Show 'em, Caitlin." flutters her eyelashes. The guys all gape. Wyatt shakes his head. Wyatt: "That can't–be legal." guys all try to shake off the effects of Caitlin's eyelashes. Caitlin: "Don't worry, okay? I'm not gonna date two guys. I just need one date with each guy to decide who's right for me." Jude: in his backpack "I'm parched. How much lemonade can I get for an old chicken satay?" pulls out a plastic bag with a moldy chicken kebab inside. Caitlin: "Eww! None! Ever!" Jude: "It's from my days at Stick It." a dead bug wiggles. Jen: "Gross!" Wyatt: "Eugh!" Nikki: "You should sell it online." Caitlin: "You should throw it out!" Jonesy: "Or bury it." Wyatt: "Burn it?" Jude: "I like Nikki's idea the best." his bag "You're going online, furry little satay!" Wyatt: "No one's gonna pay good money for rotten meat, Jude." Jude: "That's cool. I'm more of a trading man myself. I wonder what I'll get for it." Nikki: "Probably botulism." Jude: "Cool." leaving "Later!" Caitlin: off her apron and hat "Time for my first date of the day! Coffee with Vince." the stand "Wish me luck!" Jen: cheerfulness "Good luck snagging every hottie in the mall so there's none left for the rest of us!" Nikki: "Uh, bitter much?" ---- and Vince walk into the Grind Me and stop by a table. Caitlin: "Oh, we can't sit here. This table is reserved." Vince: "Yeah. For me." Caitlin: "Ooh." and Vince sit down. Vince is instantly offered a bag of coffee beans. Vince: the beans "Hmm. April harvest, grower's reserve, western exposure?" barista nods. "Two cups. And keep it coming." ---- while later, Caitlin and Vince have drunken several cups of coffee. Vince: "...so I put Emperor's mascot on the back of my moped and sped out of there before anyone even noticed the penguin was missing." laughs. Caitlin: "Oh, Vince! You're too much! I could listen to your stories all day!" remembering "Oh, whoops! Better run if I'm going to make it to my next da–er, duty! My next duty! Which is working at the lemon. Bye!" quickly exits the coffee shop. ---- is working the ice with his Zamboni while keeping an eye on his online sale. Jude: "Sweet! My first trade! ChickenLover32 wants to trade you for a glow-in-the-dark pen!" his chicken "So congrats on the new home, may you be as happy there as you were in the bottom of my pack." ---- stands by the fountain. Caitlin: "Okay Date Number 2, show me what you've got." calling "Hi Blake!" Blake: waving in a breeze "Caitlin! You look amazing!" Caitlin: confused "Is there a draft in here?" Blake: "Oh, are you cold?" puts his scarf around her. The scarf does not flutter. "Allow me." Caitlin: "Thanks! Where should we go for lunch?" Blake: "No need. I brought lunch to you." gestures to a picnic. Caitlin: "Oh, Blake! No one's ever done anything this romantic for me before!" Blake: "Well then no one's ever understood how incredible you are before." Caitlin: "That's true!" Blake: "You make me feel so...inspired, so alive!" giggles. "You seem to have captured my heart, Caitlin." takes hold of her hand. Caitlin: "You seem to have captured my hand." Blake: "And I'm never letting go." ---- is at work flipping burgers. Wyatt: "Flippin' burgers can't be wrong/Not if I can sing this song." stomps up to Wyatt. Tim: grumpy "I'm sick of teens loitering. Say hello to your new coworkers. George, and Gracie." George: out his hand "Pleased ta meet ya, kid." Wyatt: hands "Welcome to the team. I'm Wyatt." Gracie: "Isn't he the polite well-spoken young lad, George." George: "Ask him if he knows how to make this uniform more comfortable, it's pinching my buttocks!" Gracie: "George! Don't say that in a restaurant!" George: "Why not? Restaurants are full of buttocks." Gracie: disapprovingly "George!" Wyatt: away "I'll just be over here." ---- is walking through the mall with Jonesy, Jen, and Nikki. As he walks, he explains his problems. Wyatt: "...and it went on like that for the rest of the day!" Jonesy: laughing "They were arguing about buttocks? Man, you are so boned." Jen: "Can't you just tune them out?" Wyatt: "You try tuning out a two-hour debate on whether our straws are white with red stripes, or red with white stripes. Go on, I dare you." Nikki: "You should try industrial-strength earplugs." Jen: "Those things really work?" Nikki: "How do you think I put up with the Clones? Not to mention this meathead." gestures to Jonesy, who has hitched his pants up so that they're riding up his butt. Jonesy: "Hey check it out, I'm a Burger McFlipster's uniform! Ooh, pinchy!" laughs. Jen: "I should get some for home use." Nikki: "Good idea." Jude: "Bra!" skates up to his friends. "You're never gonna believe it! I just traded my glow-in-the-dark pen for these candy colored cigars!" shows them off to Nikki. Nikki: "Congratulations. But those aren't cigars, Jude. They're more...feminine?" Jude: "What?" Nikki: "They're tampons!" Jude: "Gah!" throws them away. Jonesy inadvertently reaches up and catches them. Jonesy: "Gah!" tosses the tampons to Nikki. Nikki: "Yep, I've always wanted a mature boyfriend." Jonesy: "Thanks, babe." Nikki: "You wish." five friends go their separate ways. ---- Nikki, Jonesy, and Wyatt meet up with Caitlin in the food court. Caitlin: "There you guys are!" Nikki: "How were your dates?" Caitlin: "Incredible! They're both so different and so great! I mean, they are ssssoooo great!" Jen: "Okay! We get it!" Caitlin: "But I can't keep dating them both." Jonesy: "Pardone moi? You most certainly can!" Caitlin: "But I'm usually a one-guy girl." Jonesy: "You're also a great shopper." Caitlin: "Some have called me a master. But what's that got to do with Vince and Blake?" Jonesy: "You wouldn't buy a dress without checking out the other stores in the mall, right?" Caitlin: "Mmm. Comparison shopping is essential." Jonesy: "So what if you buy a few dresses and take them for a spin? If you don't like them or they don't fit, you can always take them back." Caitlin: "The customer is always right." Jonesy: "Looks like you've got yourself the ultimate two-for-one deal!" Caitlin: squealing "I love two-for-one deals!" grabs Jonesy's arm and yanks. Jonesy: "Ow!" Nikki: "Don't even think of taking another dress for a spin, got it?" Jen: "Don't listen to him, Caitlin. And I'm not saying that because you're hogging all the guys in the mall, I swear. Though you could leave some testosterone for the rest of us." looks at her oddly. "Just saying." Nikki: "What Jen means is, you're on a dating roll, but at what price?" Caitlin: "Half-price! 'Cause it's two for one!" Nikki: "Ugh! I give up." ---- is at work. He serves some girls burgers. Wyatt: "Here you go, ladies. Hot and fresh." George: "Pass the catsup." Gracie: "You mean ketchup." George: "I think I know how to pronounce my favorite condiment. Now pass the catsup!" giggles nervously. Gracie: "Catsup. Ketchup. Either way, it's bad for your heart!" George: his butt with a spatula "Forget about my heart, I'm more worried about my hemorrhoids." Gracie: "Itching or burning?" Glutes Girl, Blonde Wave Girl, and Kristen: "Eww!" vacate the store. Wyatt: "Wait! Your burgers! Aw, that's the third time today." George: "Will you give me the catsup or not?" Gracie: "Not till you pronounce it ketchup." Wyatt: irritated "It's pronounced ketchup! Just like it's spelled!" George: "And who decided to spell it that way? Makes no sense at all." Gracie: sarcastic "Oh, and catsup makes sense?" Wyatt: "AAH!" George: "I've heard you snore! It's like sleeping beside a bear with a head cold!" imitates the snore. Gracie: "Well, you're like–" snores raspily. George responds in kind. Wyatt: behind the counter "Kill me. Kill me now." ---- girls are hanging out by the Big Squeeze. Jen: "So, have you picked Mr. Right yet?" Nikki: "Or at least Mr. Right Now?" Caitlin: her head "Not even close. First, Vince took me dancing." remembers dancing with Vince. Memory Vince: "I could dip you for hours." Memory Caitlin: a rose in her teeth "Ouch!" Memory Vince: "Careful. Every rose has its thorn." Caitlin: "Then, Blake wrote me a poem." remembers the scene. Memory Blake: "You're a flower. And a jewel. A prayer for the sad fool. I want to jump into your pool. And be your sweet love tool." crowd around them applauds. Memory Caitlin: "Oh, Blake." Memory Blake: "Caitlin. You're my fate. Lin." Nikki: interrupting "Wait. I'm sorry. Fate-lin?" Caitlin: "It's romantic! You gonna let me finish or not?" Nikki: "Fine. Fatelin, continue." Caitlin: "Anyway, after that, Vince surprised me at work." her memory, Blake has filled the Big Squeeze with roses. He pops out of the lemon. Memory Vince: "I uh, dethorned them this time." Memory Caitlin: "Oh, Vincey!" Caitlin: "Then, just when I thought I'd made my decision, Blake showed me the stars." and Blake have had another date at the planetarium. Memory Blake: "That's Orion. And the Big Dipper. Oh and that's my favorite constellation, the Caitlin." Memory Caitlin: "Is it really a constellation named the Caitlin?" Memory Blake: "It's not an entire constellation, just one star. That's all I could afford." gives Caitlin a certificate. Memory Caitlin: "You had a star named after me?" Memory Blake: "Now whenever I look to the heavens, I'll see you." Memory Caitlin: "Oh, Blakey!" Nikki: "Ooh. Tough choice." Jen: "I am so happy for you right now I could scream!" angry "AAAAAHHH!" Nikki: "Uh-huh." Caitlin: "Whenever Vince is around, I hear music! And then there's Blake, with his poet's heart and tragic good looks? So I've given it a lot of thought, and I really think–" Nikki: "Please don't say it." Caitlin: "Don't say what?" Jen: "That you think you've found The One. We've heard it a zillion times before." Caitlin: "For your info, that wasn't what I was gonna say at all." Nikki and Jen: sheepish "Oh. Sorry." Caitlin: "What I was going to say is, I really think they're The Two!" and Nikki groan. ---- six friends have gathered around the table by the Big Squeeze. Caitlin: "If I choose Vincey, I have to dump Blakey. And if I choose Blakey, I have to dump Vincey. What should I do?" Nikki: "Start by dumping the Y from their names." Caitlin: "How can I pick just one? It's like saying I can only wear one pair of shoes for the rest of my life!" Jude: his laptop "Whoa-ho-ho. Some lady just offered me a lamp for those chickular unmentionables!" accepting "Who's Tiffany?" Jen: "A Tiffany lamp? Those things are really valuable." Jude: "Sweet. Don't really need it, but maybe someone else does." ---- is at work. Things are strangely silent in the restaurant. Nikki and Jonesy walk in. Nikki: "Wow. It's quiet in here. Too quiet." Jonesy: "Yeah, we came to hear the Bickersons!" Wyatt: sighing "They're on a break. It's the only time they don't argue. They just help themselves to some hot water, put in tea bags they brought from home, and then they sit there, staring and sipping without saying a word!" Nikki: "Looks like they've started a trend." restaurant is full of seniors sipping tea. Jonesy: "Okay, creepy." clock ticks over to three o'clock. The Bickersons' break is over. Wyatt: sighing "Here we go." George: back to work "And another thing! Coins are too heavy!" Gracie: "No they're not. They're too shiny." George: "Shine doesn't make them sag in my pockets." Gracie: "Heaviness doesn't make them blind me in the light!" Nikki: "Aw, they're adorable! Hmm, they remind me of you, and the way you love to bicker!" Jonesy: "No one bickers better than you, babe." Wyatt: "The Bickersons aren't adorable! They're highly annoying! Not to mention they're driving the customers away!" groans. "Aw, I need a new job." ---- is still trading as he sits with his friends. Jude: "Hey! Some hombre wants to trade my Tiffany lamp for a pair of plane tickets to Hawaii." five friends gasp as a group. Nikki: "What?" Caitlin: "No way!" Jonesy: "Dude!" Jen: "You're kidding!" Wyatt: "Only you could turn a rotten piece of chicken into plane tickets." Jude: "If only I wasn't allergic to poi." walks up to Caitlin. Music starts to play in the background. Vince: "Hey, dollface." Caitlin: "Hi, Vincey." Jude: "Dudes. You hear that? Sweet tunage." and Caitlin kiss. Blake arrives and catches them in the act. Caitlin sees him. Caitlin: "Hi Blakey!" Vince "That's Blakey. I mean, Blake. My, uh, brother! Yeah, brother! Wait here." runs off to deal with the situation. Blake: "Who was that snogging you?" Caitlin: "It's just Vincey. I mean Vince, my, uh, brother. Wait here." runs back to Vince. Jude: "Whoa. I didn't know Caitlin had a brother and now she's got two? I really gotta start paying attention." Vince: "Gotta get back to planning our next date. See you later, dollface." leaves. Blake: "I'll see you on our date." gives Caitlin a peck on the cheek. "Cheers." leaves. Caitlin: a sigh of relief "You're right, Jen. I can't date two guys at once." Jen: "Glad I finally got through." Caitlin: "I'm totally out of shape!" Jonesy: "If you have to narrow it down, do it quick. Just dump the first guy who does something you don't like." Caitlin: "That should be easy enough." ---- and Vince are at dinner when Vince lets out a loud burp. Caitlin's Thoughts: Perfect. Caitlin: "Vince, we need to talk." pulls out a jewelry box. Vince: "This used to belong to my grandmother. She told me on her deathbed to give it to the girl who has stolen my heart." hands over a beautiful piece of jewelry. Caitlin: "This is so beautiful. Darn it!" ---- and Blake are having coffee when Blake starts checking his pockets. Blake: "Oh. I seem to have left my wallet at home." Caitlin: "Really? Great! We have to talk." them, a man falls to the floor. Blake: "This man is having a heart attack!" CPR "Sir, stay with me!" Caitlin: "You're actually saving his life?" upset "Well isn't that just perfect!" ---- is checking things off on a clipboard when Wyatt comes up to him. Wyatt: "Tim, you know I don't like to complain, but this time, I can't help it. The Bickersons are driving away customers, and they don't actually do any work, and I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! AAAAAHHHH!" Tim: "Bringing in a more mature clientele was a huge mistake. We're going under! Get rid of them and you can have a raise." Wyatt: "Really?" nods. Wyatt walks over to the Bickersons. Wyatt: "I'm afraid Burger McFlipster's is going to have to let you go." George: "Son, are you really gonna fire a man five times your age?" grins nervously. Gracie: up "Without our paychecks, I don't know how we'll survive!" cries on her husband's shoulder. George: "Gracie's so fragile. Losing this job just might kill her." Gracie: "It's okay, Georgie. We can always survive on ketchup soup." George: angry "Catsup!" Gracie: "Don't get me started!" stares straight ahead with an expression on his face that shows how sick he is of the Bickersons. ---- is doing magazine question with Jen to try and figure out a solution. Jen: "Last question: Is he more likely to a, kiss your hand, b, kiss your butt, or c, kiss your cash goodbye?" Caitlin: some consideration "A." Jen: "Okay. According to the first three magazines, you should hang on to Vince." Caitlin: "Great!" Jen: "But according to the last three magazines, you should stick with Blake." Caitlin: "Ah, stupid quizzes!" walks into the food court and heads for Caitlin. Jen quickly shuffles the magazines into a stack. Vince: "Hey there dollface." pecks her on the cheek. "There's a hot art show tonight. You in?" enters the food court and heads for Caitlin. She notices. Caitlin: "Uh, sure, okay. Bye!" arrives and pecks Caitlin on the cheek. Caitlin: "Vince was just leaving." gives her another kiss. Vince: "Later, bro." leaves. Blake: "Your brother's very affectionate." Caitlin: "We were raised by hippies." Blake: "There's a gallery opening tonight. I'll meet you there at seven?" kisses her cheek. Caitlin: "Sure. Yeah. Later!" leaves. Jen watches with a smug smile on her face. Jen: "Uh, you do realize you just agreed to go to the same event with both guys?" Caitlin: "Vince–art show, Blake–gallery opening–" it together "Oh no!" Jonesy: up "What's with the drama, ladies?" Jen: "Caitlin just double-booked her dates for tonight." Jonesy: "Is that all? Don't worry about a thing. The Jonesmiester will take care of everything." ---- Burger McFlipster's, a bunch of old people are sipping tea. George and Gracie are still in uniform. Wyatt: "Attention customers! Burger McFlipster's is making a small pricing change to cover costs! From now on, hot water will be five cents a cup!" collective gasp rises from the senior citizens inside the restaurant. George angrily storms over to Wyatt. George: "You can't do that! Water's free!" Wyatt: "Heating's not." Gracie: angry "How dare you talk back to Georgie! He was in the war!" Wyatt: "Okay. I'm out." George: "Boycott McFlipster's!" George and Gracie: "Boycott McFlipster's!" Seniors: "Boycott McFlipster's!" file out of the restaurant. "Boycott McFlipster's! Boycott McFlipster's! Boycott McFlipster's! Boycott McFlipster's!" Wyatt: soon as they're gone "The water may not be free anymore, but we are! Woo-hoo-hoo!" doesn't join in his mirth. "Right. We'll get back to work." ---- gallery opening is packed. Vince: at a painting "The artist is all the rage in Berlin." Caitlin: "Ooh, how Euro!" Vince: "I'm really looking forward to spending the evening with you." Caitlin: "Me too. Now stay here. I'll be right back." threads through the crowds, looking for her other boyfriend. Blake: "Caitlin!" heads over to Blake. Blake: "We're going to have a fantastic time!" sees Vince approaching. Caitlin: "Hold that thought, I'll be right back." walks through the crowd and stops by a sculpture. Caitlin: "I changed my mind, I can't do it!" man examining the sculpture looks at Caitlin oddly and moves on. The sculpture opens its eyes. Jonesy: "Caitlin, chill! I got your back!" out an earbud "Put the earbud in your ear and I'll talk you through it." Caitlin: "And if your plan backfires?" Jonesy: "Least I blend in." shuts his eyes again. Caitlin rejoins Vince. Caitlin: "Sorry about that. Bathroom." Vince: "You're worth the wait, Caitlin." kiss. Jonesy: "Blake at ten o'clock. Heads up." Caitlin: "Whew! You know when you've just gone and you think 'I could totally go again right now?' Back soon!" finds Blake. Caitlin: "Sorry about that, Blakey. Where were we?" Blake: "I was just about to kiss you." Jonesy: "Vince at eight o'clock!" Caitlin: hissing "I don't know which way that is!" Blake: "Uh, are you talking to me?" Caitlin: "No! I mean, yes. Why don't you get us drinks? Something that'll uh...take a while to pour. Go away now! Shoo shoo!" gets rid of Blake right before Vince arrives, bearing two cups of red liquid. Vince: "Got you some cranberry soda. Might be good for the, uh, bladder issues." Caitlin: wanly "Thanks." Jonesy: "Blake at six o'clock!" Caitlin: "Stop telling me the time!" Vince: "I wasn't! Are you okay?" Caitlin: "No, 'cause I–" striking, she downs her glass "–really have to pee. Be back!" runs for the women's restroom. When she breaks through the door, however, it turns out to be a painting. The gallery gasps. Caitlin: nervous "Whoops! Modern art. It's so realistic." continues on and bumps into Blake, who inadvertently spills his drink into Jonesy's eyes. Jonesy: "AAAH!" his position "Abort!" Caitlin: worried "I'll get us new drinks." Blake: "No. Stay." Caitlin: "I'd love to, but–" pulls her close and kisses her passionately. Vince: them "I've heard of kissing cousins, but you two are brother and sister!" Caitlin: "Vincey! Oh, I'm so sorry!" Blake: "What are you apologizing to your brother for?" Vince: "I'm not her brother!" Caitlin: "It's okay. Vincey's not my brother." gasps. "And neither is Blakey." gasps. "I've been dating you both." hangs her head in shame. Vince: "I just can't share my lady with anyone. Ciao." leaves. Blake: "You've shattered my heart." breeze that always surrounds him stops. "Farewell, Caitlin." hangs her head as Blake leaves. ---- Caitlin, Nikki, Wyatt, and Jonesy are sitting at the usual table. Caitlin is teaching Jen. Caitlin: "Now, imagine you're a butterfly. And...flutter!" flutters her eyelashes but soon gets her wires crossed and starts closing one eye at a time. Jonesy: "Ha ha!" clamps a hand over his mouth. Caitlin: "Maybe you're trying too hard." Jen: "Story of my life!!!" walks up to the table with his backpack and sits down. Jude: "Someone offered me their condo in New York for the plane tickets!" friends gasp. Jonesy: ecstatic "A condo? Holy–" Jude: "But, I've decided not to keep it." Jonesy: sobbing "NOOOO!!!" collapses on the table in tears. Nikki: "How come?" Jude: "I didn't care about any of the traded stuff the way I cared about the chicken satay. It may be inedible–heck, may be lethal–but it's mine. So, I traded the condo for it, and now it's back where it belongs." Caitlin: "You're lucky you know what you want, Jude. Wish I'd figured it out before Blakey and Vincey dumped me." Nikki: "Something tells me there'll be more hot guys." greeter god walks by the table. He stops by the friends. Jen gets in Caitlin's way and flutters her eyelashes. Greeter God: "Wanna go out sometime?" Jen: "EEE! It really worked! Caitlin, you're a genius!" hugs her blonde friend. The greeter god stares at them, perturbed. Caitlin: "She'd love to go out with you!" Category:Season 3